December 31, 2005 ~ 3:27 PM
Happy New Year to us all, may we have a prosperous 2006.=)
Only a few hours until 2005 ends.
I am so grateful to God for this year.
Kahapon, nung piesta, nagkaron ng sunog dito sa Gapo. May nagpaputok kasi sa taas ng isang commercial building and yung paputok nya naglanding sa mga tindahan ng paputok ng mga Muslim na tabi-tabi. Kaya pala akala ko WW3 na kahapon.. ang lakas ng dagundong. Parang nagfireworks display in broad daylight... May mga nainjure daw 16.. may namatay din, dalawa daw.. Kaya hinay-hinay lang sa pagpapaputok. You don't want any freak accident happening to you as a year ender diba?
Gayahin mo kami! Hindi magpapaputok. Heheheh.
Puro prutas na bilog sa bahay namin. Para kaming tindahan ng prutas dito. Totoo ba yun, what they say about round fruits bringing you good luck?
I watched Frankenfish in HBO last night. It was the most idiotic movie I've ever seen. Gigantic piranas can jump as high as 25 feet and can even crawl on land. They eat people and decapitate crocodiles too. Gross! My brother said the director probably has Ichthyophobia. Figures.
Why do I love 2005?
Lemme start... 2nd sem of my 3rd year was a blast, I was a dean's lister again. I passed the hard subjects, thanks be to God. The OJT in People's was a great experience and a memorable one at that. I had an indecent proposal for the first time and that was shocking but I met so many great people along the way, they may not be the one you see on T.V. but they taught us a lot, Brent, Badet and I. I was also interviewed for the World Tonight for the first time, about circumcision. I met an N.U. Bulldog, an IBC reporter, a DZMM radiocaster, Asi Taulava, Councilor Trisha Bonoan-David (who told me she thought I was Mayor L.A.'s daugher Chi) and many more.
I also moved on from the mosh pit called falling in love with Jayson. I got into a mess with this Ryan stalker who enjoyed torturing my mind for a reason I was never able to decipher because I do not know who in Hell's name he is. I dated a bar-owner several times, fell in love with him, and pushed him away because I was afraid to get hurt. I met again a PBB star who was a former classmate in elementary in one of my Summer gimmicks and had agreed to go out with him again but never did. I met Jam's friends and a band called 9th Avenue. I got an engineer for a boyfriend. I had a great bday party at Dad's glorietta. A Vietnamese journalist, whom I met during the 23rd Sea Games volunteerism, courted me and asked me to marry him (incredible). Well don't think it's chronological, these things happened at random. I also got drunk for the first time due to Tequila shots, uno in Thesis, and oh before I forgot, I had a memorable paskuhan.
I guess that would be all.=)
December 30, 2005 ~ 2:05 PM
I would also like to acknowledge people heheheh... galing kasi ako sa blog ni Brent and kanina pa ako tawa ng tawa sa mga nababasa ko.. anyway, I also find Eleven Minutes "hot" heheheh.
Ria-- for the butterfly na may kandilang pink na mabango
Nina-- for the very Oriental wallet
Ruby-- for the cute pink purse and cute pink mirror
Jam-- for the pink cabbage na may paa at kamay na photo frame
Hon-- sa Girbaud na wallet (at hindi pink, yehey!)
Schuy-- sa super cute na remembrance
Marlz-- sa pink na pang-gimik na bohemian top
At sa marami pang ibang tao na nakalimutan ko isulat dito pero alam ko pink na bagay ang binigay kasi punong puno ng pink na stuff ang tokador ko hehehehh. Love ko kayong lahat.=)
Happy New Year to us all!
Fiesta now sa Olongapo... My family went to a friend's house to eat lunch, may handa kasi doon. I was left here all alone. I didn't mind being left though, I love being alone and having the whole house to myself. I still haven't eaten lunch. I am not that hungry. I took out the leftover salmon (Dad cooked it last night but nobody ate it)from the fridge and heated it in the microwave. I miss Hon. Funny how you keep on pushing people away just to find out that you're actually, desperately wanting to keep them. That's how I am sometimes.
A futile attempt to struggle away from a certain person would actually lead you into wanting him more until you can't take it any longer. Stupid, eh?
Well I can proudly say that I'm inlove and I don't know why.
Tomorrow, it's obviously New Year and I've been bugging my kuya to buy lots of "kwitis"(is that how you spell it?) , "lusis" or anything na nakikita kong paputok or pailaw coz I'm not really familiar with the names but he says he doesn't want to coz tinatamad shang magpaputok. Lemme guess. We probably won't prepare anything and hindi rin kami magpapaputok. My family's becoming tired of the usual stuffs. But I don't understand how they can become tired of something which they only do once a year.
Whining aside, it's really boring here but I love it. I love being bored (whew for the first time). I try not to think of the pending stuffs which I'd have to face eventually on the 3rd (still waiting for Sir Jeff's where and what time). It's good to just watch the clock tick and savor the time of bumming around. =)
Rhon just called just to say he's home coz bumili sha ng asukal sa tindahan. Heheheh. Gotta go. A former friend is pestering me right now.
December 29, 2005 ~ 12:24 PM
I can't believe 2005's almost over... How can I desrcibe this year? Well it was a tough one for me... But very memorable. I learned so many things about love and friendship. I came to know who my real friends are.. I learned important lessons about trust. And before the year came to a close, I had a boyfriend.
Last Paskuhan was very memorable, coz I watched the fireworks display, I was with my closest friends, and my bf was there with me(is that too mushy?). This year's Christmas break was very simple. On the 24th we went to Himlayang Pilipino coz it's my grandma's 40th day. I realized that the most peaceful place to relax is actually the cemetery. So instead of having Noche Buena on Christmas Eve, we were in North Luzon Expressway, bonding, yeah, like it was the first time my family ever travelled together. In other words, we weren't able to prepare any food, we just bought everything, cakes, ice cream, and other stuff which doesn't need cooking.
On the 27th, my boyfriend visited me here. I was very happy.
I can't believe school's gonna start again soon, only 5 days to go. I'm afraid for the thesis, we're not yet done, but Sir Jeff's assured us that it's not a big problem. I don't know what to believe.
The first will be the last and the last will be the first.
We were the first to finish some chapters before. Then Brent started bragging that we were (Oh, he's always proud, that's understandable and it's uncontrollable, heheheh) and now we're the last.. (Are we?)
I've finished reading Paulo Coelho's Eleven Minutes. As always, Coelho's disturbed my mind. I felt like an ignoramus learning things about love and intimacy for the first time. Things which never occurred to me, and things which I never dared think of. Heheh. Great book. I've read three of his novels already, I guess I'd go to Nat'l. later to buy another one of his works.
I have decided to end my year by reflecting on the things I have done or could have done as to not repeat the same mistakes this 2006.
December 19, 2005 ~ 5:21 PM
Today, December 19, 2005, he lied to me for the first time.
It was a definite and undeniable mental reservation.
He smelled of cigar, his hand smelled of smoke, yet he said he didn't smoke any.
It was a simple question which expected a simple answer of yes or no.
"Hon, did you smoke?"
"No."
"Bakit amoy smoke kamay mo?"
"Hinawakan ko lang."
O come on. Kamusta naman ang paghawak sa sigarilyo. I mean, I wouldnt't have gone mad if he just told the truth. Besides, it's HIS lungs, if he doesn't want me to give a damn about it then fine, right? I was just asking, so why lie about it?
It would be similar to me, drinking all night, chugging up tequila or vodka or whatever, and my breath would smell like alcohol and when he asks me, "Hon, did you drink?" I'll go, "No. Napasawsaw lang dila ko." See?
Tsk tsk. I feel really bad about this. Big things start from small beginnings.
December 17, 2005 ~ 12:40 PM
I am polluted. My head is, I mean. We had an interesting lunch time together, sort of a "He says, She says" thing, Brent, Ria, Jam, Ruby and I.
Could a guy who lives in a co-ed dorm really fight the urge, er, tempation and resist the charms of the variety of girls living across the hallway or the floor below?
Is loyalty really an easy thing... or if worse comes to worst, he'll just say, "I'm only human, born to make mistakes?"
Okay, I am paranoid.
I admit, I too have difficulties fighting temptations and woah, divine intervention is really needed. So how about him? How does he do it? How does he resist?
I am so unfair, what I'm doing, worrying so much about absolutely nothing. I know he loves me, then why am I so unnerved at the thought of uh.... I guess my head's just polluted.
I feel sad for Jam. And Badet too. But I think that it is the right time for them to do so. I got reasons to prove it, and I know they know what I mean... I just hope this phase passes away as peacefully and as uh... calmly as possible. I want us all to be friends, just like before.
Ria's Mark is so pathetic. It's not an assumption, it's a conclusion. How could a nice-looking guy have a brain the size of a green pea? How?
Brent's enjoying the girl talk and all. Our imagination's getting wild. I mean, my imagination. How can I even think of my boyfriend doing the deed with somebody I do not know? Brent, this is your fault. Kidding.
What a debate. A discussion in BRB over chicken teriyaki which I think had shrunk twice its original size (way way back 2 years ago).
On the hallway, on the sala, on the table, thrashing wildly about, her hands flailing like there's no tomorrow, her fresh from the bathroom look with that seductive scent of zest or camay, tapping, knocking on his bedroom door, he opens it, either he lets her in or he follows her, and they, they... WAAHHHH!!!!
Stop it, Mela. You're hurting yourself. Stop your stupidity this instant. You know you trust him, and he knows you do.
Looking forward to Paskuhan. Oh before I forget... Shopping with Ria later in RP. Sale kasi eh heheheh.
December 14, 2005 ~ 4:09 PM
I hope you guys love my new layout... Of course, thanks to Liz, heheh.=)
Until now, I still can't believe that I am officially not single. It's been so0o0o long. You can say I am still uncomfortable being held on my hands, touched on my face, cooed, cuddled, plus the sweet talks and stuffs. But I know I would get used to it. It's just a phase I've been going through. Finally, I am loving and BEING loved at the same time. I don't know when this will last, I am not sure if we'll go a long way, but hey, I've been taking risks since forever. My life IS a risk, so let this be the last straw... I think I would just let God decide some things for me.
Every night, we see each other. A part of me is afraid, they say when a couple is always together, madaling magkasawaan or something like that. But he says he doesn't believe in it. So maybe I shouldn't too. After all, Jam and Badet are always together. And yet they are always happy. So maybe it isn't true, what they say I mean.
I feel like my dad does not approve of my decision. So many factors, so many things... In a way it makes me feel guilty, as if AGAIN for the nth time I was disobeying him. The last time we talked on the phone, he made it sound as if he preferred that I go out on gimmicks everyday and he'd even "fund" it, in turn that I stay single until I graduate and get a job since I stubbornly don't want to go to law school.
I just don't understand why my dad would prefer polygamy. Kidding. But I think he really does. Maybe he was afraid I would totally lost focus again, just as I always had with my "very very" past relationships.
It's not like I'm gonna get married soon. I know he just doesn't want me to get hurt... Stubborn disobedient Carmela strikes again. Well, that's how love works right? Go against the world! Conquer everything! Go go go! I'm inspired, and I'm in love, so what? Go ahead get hurt, that's okay. Right? Right.
I'm waiting for Heidi (who's currently taking a bath somewhere, in her dorm far far away I think) now, Ria just left. We're sort of "done" with the thesis. Tiring.
"Sniff Sniff" I'm smelling Rhon again! His scent is everywhere, what's wrong with my nose? I smell him when I wake up, I smell him before I sleep, I smell him while reading Copernicus, and I smell him as I eat Samba. I think he's been dwelling in my olfactory nerve.
Oh well, love does crazy things to people. No, make that "Love drives me crazy" but I love it.=)
I think I've been saying too much things. Enough of the Blah-Blahs.
December 10, 2005 ~ 12:40 PM
Officially, after long years of waiting... I got someone to call my own.
Yep, friends. I got a boyfriend already.=) I won't say much here, all I want the world to know is that I am the happiest girl alive.=)
I am a confused girl who is trapped between the past and the present
