February 10, 2006 ~ 4:13 PM
Don't question me why or how. This is the only answer I could give.
What I have is mature love, and what I learned to do was to accept somebody I love for who he is, no matter what kind of past he has, what he has done. What matters is what you have in the present and what you'll be having in the future. The past is past and is meant to be forgotten. Yes, learn from your past but do not dwell in it because no one can ever go back to correct what you have done. All of us have pasts--- the more important thing is whether you learned something or not. "Would you continue doing it?" or "Would you move on and make a brand new start?"
Last night was our 2nd month. We were back together. Although the glamour of being in love, the freshness of everything, the feeling of being new to the concept of falling in love was not as apparent as before, although the relationship was glitched, the happiness which the relationship brought with it did not cease. There was no cessation of joy or love. It was as strong as ever, just became molded, more mature, with a hint of holding back but with a conviction of never letting go.
And I like it that way. I love it that way. I grew up. I matured. Just as my friend Don the Engineer said, I now understand the meaning of mature love.
Finally.
February 07, 2006 ~ 3:14 PM
List of things which happened last week.
Jan. 30-- I found out something.
Jan. 31-- I made a decision.
Feb. 01-- Had coffee with him in Mocha Blends.
Feb. 02-- Tried to sort out things with him.
Feb. 03-- Thesis Defense, flat UNO from our adviser and two panelists, with minor revisions pending (thank God, with all the stress and stuff, we made it).
-- Date with somebody else later that evening
-- Met him and tried to sort out things with him again
Feb. 04-- Made a decision again, no turning back now.
Feb. 05-- Attended a Chinese-British Wedding with Sen. Gordon sitting beside me during the reception
The main question is... Should I say yes or should I say no?
I am a confused girl who is trapped between the past and the present
